Environment, Part I:

I mentioned in my last post that I am not natively a gym-goer; well, I'm not natively a tidy-er, either.  Given no additional stimulus, an increasing level of clutter and then outright mess will accumulate in my surroundings. 

It used to be (and by "used to be" I mean "when I was a teenager") so bad that my parents would come into my room, stand over me, and order me, piece by piece, to pick things up and either throw them away or throw them out.

It's not like that any more.  I won't lie, I'm still not a natively tidy person, but I think my surroundings look more "harried person with not enough time to clean" and less "going to be a hoarder in ten years" at this point.  (Actually, now that I think about it critically, my surroundings look a lot like my parents' surroundings did during my formative years.  I know that there's substantial evidence that eating habits are formed by watching the eating habits of the parent; anybody know about cleaning habits?)

Here's the part that sucks, though:  I need to be a tidy person.

Two reasons for this.  One, I spend way too much time looking for things.  Seriously, it's just embarrassing.  Two, I'm so much happier when I'm in a clean environment.  It's like there's this pile of bricks on my chest all the time which just unloads when my surroundings are clean.

And I don't even know how much the clutter is hurting me until it's gone!  If you ask me what the single biggest source of stress in my life is, I'll probably cite my job, or the fact that I have gotten not nearly enough done on my novel, or (come September) school, but in fact, my medium-grade level of organization (it's not a lack of organization; lack implies that there's none, and that's not the case) is probably in the top three greatest sources of stress, if not the greatest. 

Look at the visual aids again; which one makes you happier?  Now imagine you're living with each one for a year; which one would drive you bonkers? 

There was a time in my life when I actually lived like the first picture.  Like, all the time.  And it's not all that long ago.  And, when I'm stressed, or tired, or in a hurry, things slide a little more in that direction again. 

The problem is that, just like not exercising because I've had a bad day, or going for the chocolate because I've had a bad day, not cleaning up after myself (because I've had a bad day) is only going to make the problem worse.

What puzzles (and frustrates) me is that I've known this for years, and I still can't do what needs to be done on a consistent basis.  Seriously, what is my problem?